Saturday, February 19, 2005

FDA & Pharmacology have a problem

FDA has a problem.

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names - a trade name and a generic name.
For example, the trade name of Tylenol is acetaminophen, Aleve is known as
naproxen, Amoxil is amoxicillin, and Advil is ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After consideration
by a team of government experts, it recently announced it has settled on the
generic name of mycoxafloppin. Also considered were mycoxafailin,
mydixadrupin, mydixarizin, mydixadud, mydixadrill, dixafix, and of course
ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. is making an announcement today that Viagra will soon be
available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power
beverage suitable for use as a mixer. Pepsi's proposed ad campaign claims
it will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink. This additive gives new
meaning to the names of cocktails, highballs and just a good old fashioned
stiff drink. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of Mount &
Do.

The long term implications of drugs and medical procedures must be fully
considered: Over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast
implants and Viagra than was spent on Alzheimer's research. It is believed
that by the year 2030, there will be a large number of people wandering
around with huge breasts and erections who can't remember what or who
they're doing.

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